5 Qualities of a Great Friend
As a grown adult I have had my fair share of “friends” and I use quotations because I used the word so often when really these associates of mine were not friends at all. Some people whom I’ve called “best-friend” have hurt me more than anyone has ever hurt me! Heck, I may not have been a good friend to people through my life. Actually, I KNOW I haven’t as I self-reflect!
There are situations where I could have been a wayyyy better friend and CAN be a better friend. However, hopefully in life we learn, grow and act accordingly. So what qualities describe a great friend? I’m happy you asked.
- They are HONEST and Keep it 100
Goodness! I cannot stress the importance of having an honest friend who gives it to you straight, no chaser. In life we have so many people lying to our faces and talking behind our backs, you should be able to be completely honest with your friend! I mean brutally honest, however depending on your relationship, keep it classy and respectful. Some people are sensitive and thier feelings may get hurt. Some people can take it, however, you dish it! So you would have to gauge your friend and keep it 100 in a way that they will be able to receive it. Don’t confuse keeping it 100, with being disrespectful and rude nah! Also, some people like to be fed bull and want “yes (wo)men” don’t be that friend! One of my particular friends gets irritated with me because I don’t agree with her and/or tell her what she wants to hear, queue Ray Ray “Tell ‘em what they wanna hear” That’s just our relationship and she isn’t seriously mad at me but it’s funny nonetheless. On a serious note, ask yourself if you have to walk on eggshells and can’t keep it real with your “friend” are you really friends in the first place?
- They are Non-Judgemental
Ok. Can I be totally honest? In life, you and your friends are going to do questionable things and as a true friend, you have to be able to stick by your friends’ side and not judge them, even if they do legit “judge-worthy” things, LOL. You have to give your friend grace and listen to him/her and remove your perfect persona. Sometimes decisions they make or you make will lead to tears, regret, heartache, and turmoil. Be there for them, motivate them and PRAY for them as they go through their rough patch in life. We’ve all been there, so no need to stick your nose up in the air and act like your -ish don’t stank! Now everyone’s “judge-worthy” behavior may not be on the same level, however, you chose this person as a friend so stick with them as they sort out their “dirty laundry”! Here you would implement the being honest and keeping it 100 though, you can’t let them continue to engage in certain kind of behavior, but if they fall just be there to help them up, dust them off and pick up the pieces.
- They are Understanding
Once again as an adult, your friendships are going to be completely different than when you were in high school and college. As a working adult, possible mother, and/or wife, your friendship time will be limited. It could be car ride talks before work, care ride talks after work, late nights, special girl trips, a run to the mall or weekends rendezvous.
Understand that your friend(s) may have other responsibilities now and they could just be tired. You may not text all day and talk all night anymore, but that doesn’t mean that you all aren’t friends. That means that you all are adults. So understand if someone doesn’t text you right back –even if they are on social media LOL. Or if they don’t answer when you call and don’t call you right back. Give them grace man! Also, understand if they can’t come to every single event that you have. It’s ok! As long as they are there when you really need them, that’s all that matters! Also, KNOW your friend(s) like really get to know their personality, their behaviors, their interests, their likes, and dislikes. I know when my friend is irritated with me; I know when they are irritated with someone else. My friends know this about me-they can hear it in my voice and/or see it in my face. Like “What’s wrong?” LOL That comes with time and learning. LEARN your friend(s).
One last thing please UNDERSTAND that your friend(s) is a flawed human being they are not perfect! You both are going to make mistakes, just like any relationship. You will have disagreements, possible “fall outs”, misunderstandings. There will be good days and bad. But if you are real friends you can work through it IF the friendship is worth it to you! Practice grace!
- They are Caring
We have to be kind and show love to our friend(s). You know if someone cares about you! You can feel it! Please make sure your friend really cares about you! Meaning they will stick up for you when you can’t stick up for yourself! They care about your well-being, your kids, your family! Things you go through matter to them as well. They are happy when you’re happy, sad when you’re sad, and pissed when you’re mad! LOL I remember when I went through my divorce I can count on one hand who checked on me; when I was going through the worst time of my life-HA! Definitely found out who really cared about Madison and I! It was a rude awakening but a NECESSARY one. I always ask my real friends periodically, “How can I be a better friend to you?” They don’t ever really know how to answer, but I just do a “friend check” to see if there is anything I can do better. Because these past few years have been ROUGH on a sista’ so I may have fallen short a time or two… or three. But I try to make sure they know I CARE!
- They have a Dope Personality-They’re FUN
FOR SURE! Who wants to be around a person with no personality? This girl DOESN’T!!! I think this is so important in a friendship, heck any relationship! FUN, FUN and FUNNY! I personally can say I crack my friends up! It’s gonna’ be a good time when we are together! Laughter is the best medicine and who doesn’t like laughing? Who doesn’t like an encourager? I think having a dope personality is being well rounded! You can laugh with each other, cry, encourage each other and pray all in one conversation! Now that’s DOPE! Trips, brunch, weddings, the mall, dinners, church, kids play dates, you should be able to do it ALL with your friend(s) and have a great time! Everyone is different so your definition of a dope personality may be different from mine, however, whatever it may be your friend(s) should be DOPE!
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XOXOXO YOURS TRULY,
THEE’ ONE & ONLY,
SENDING PEACE, LOVE & POSITIVITY YOUR WAY!!!