Posted on January 20, 2014 in All

i’ve always wondered why a lot of women compete with one another. i grew up in a family where women got along and rarely argued, never physically fought. i know that seems to be rare, man i’m not playing when i say that i’m blessed, i know this and i’m grateful. so to my surprise when i got in the “real world” i didn’t understand why when i gave a woman i didn’t know a compliment she looked at my side-eyed, or why when i was extra friendly and happy most women didn’t trust me and thought i had something up my sleeve when i didn’t! or when my female “friends” would try to compete with one another i was so confused. what the heck is going on??? why would you be friends with someone and compete with them, always talk about them or not really like them? that to me is the strangest thing! i never understood that logic. this is women on tv, in movies, in your home, at the hair salon, at work. i’ve seen countless women compete with their “girlfriends” and sadly i’ve seen a lot of them do it and probably didn’t even know they were, because it came second nature. i had a friend who had a lot of aunts and her mother and her aunts stayed into it. i mean every time i would visit her mother’s house i heard a different story about the sisters. it saddened me, i didn’t understand why sisters would bicker like that, i don’t have any sisters, but i have an aunt who is 6 years older than i am and we grew up like sisters, i’m not sure if that counts. whether it does or doesn’t i’m leaning more to it not lol i still didn’t understand. i mean where did this come from? who started this? why continue in this learned behavior? why do women look at another woman and consider them automatically the enemy?  i’ve had friends who would compete against me and i wasn’t even aware a third party had to point out the obvious because i didn’t even think like that. i think enough is enough and women need to stop being competitors and be encouragers! encourage women, give compliments, be honest to your friends (i grew up with the tough love approach). just be your true self and who likes it likes it and who doesn’t doesn’t, it’s just that simple. i know most women won’t admit if they compete with their female friends or family members but you don’t have to say it aloud or share with anyone but deep down you know the truth and all i’m saying is the next time you feel yourself competing with another woman just stop, it’s as easy as that stop! don’t do it instead replace that negative energy with something positive. give her a compliment, encourage her, help her with something or merely just don’t hate. it’s as simple as 1-2-3. so moving forward if you see a woman with a nice outfit on, a cute coat, bad boots, or her hair is laid, tell her, smile and keep it moving! women we have so much power that we aren’t aware of. it’s about time we start tapping into the best us and changing the world!

 xoxoxo yours truly,

thee’ one and only chonita nicole

sending love, peace and positivity your way!


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  1. Cupkake In Pumps /

    I love your funky little blog and the message. When I see another female and her shoes are bad, I tell her how nice they are. Or maybe her shirt is really cute, I will tell her. But there have been times where I get the side eye or they may be confused. Hopefully they really think about it later and pay it forward! Thanks for the blog!!!!

  2. Maisha Peters /

    I agree! I never understood the the whys of this topic!!! I have always been a pro supportive advocate especially amongst women. Some women are so judgemental of others they compete without being aware of their actions or motives. We need more disscussions like this! Beautiful DoDreamOn!!!

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